are you financially compatiable?

When 2 people get married……we hope that they are financially compatiable, sometimes they are, sometimes they are not…

Here are the details of a couple …and they had an amazing story. I took their permission to share the story with you…

He is 42 she is 37 years old. He works for a huge pharmaceutical company and earns well. Lots of cash, lots of goodies. His total savings as of now Rs. 8-9 lakhs in some mutual funds, about 10 lakhs in his provident fund and a house in which they are living – worth Rs. 1.8 crores – and has a loan of Rs. 48 lakhs on the house.

It was easy to assume that they are earning well and spending well….correct?

Hmmm no. Not so fast.

She is a Mumbai girl…and got a credit card at the age of 18…and into credit card debt by the time she was 22. She had a Masters degree but no great job. She was employed in a low paying job, but had expensive habits – really expensive habits. She was rescued once by her father..which was perhaps accidental.

He is a Chennai boy and far more conservative in his money management skills. Well qualified and holding a good job, he got his first credit card at age 29 – one year before his marriage.

If there was a credit card score, she would have scored really low, and he would have scored really high. Luckily now he was paying all the credit card bills.

To me their expenses on a month to month basis looked to be normal – except for eating out in ‘branded’ restaurants only. Then I found some high branded clothes and other accessories. A branded holiday in Europe…

They were buying very ordinary stuff of items which were consumed inside the house, but very high branded goods when it came to items used outside the house. Which meant their spending pattern was clearly a ‘show’ spending – what others thought about their spending was far more important than what they thought about it. I had to tell them the following: (no not original, based on the sayings of a Guru, part of the Krishna Movement)

Humility and inner peace normally go hand in hand. The less compelled you are to try to prove yourself to others, the easier it is to feel peaceful inside.

Proving yourself is a dangerous trap. It takes a large amount of energy to be always pointing out your accomplishments, bragging, or trying to convince others of your worth as a human being. Pride, showing off  and arrogance diminish your positive feelings! To make things worse, the more you try to prove yourself, the more others will avoid you, talk behind your back about your insecure need to boast, and perhaps even dislike you.

Ironically, however, the less you care about seeking approval, the more approval you will get! People are drawn to those with a quiet, inner confidence, people who don’t need to make themselves look good, be “right” all the time, or steal the glory.

Most people love a person who doesn’t need to show-off, a person who shares from his or her heart and not from his or her ego.

Well all this is a part of being conscious of Krishna…..some people call it the simple Art of Living, some people call it Siddha Samadhi Yoga, ….I am quite sure that the original is from the Vedas.

 

 

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4 Responses to “are you financially compatiable?”

  1. really refreshing and inspiring thoughts this morning, sir! thank you.

  2. If everybody starts practicing “Santosh” (I am happy with whatever i have), how he/she will progress, these are things which give you motivation to excel. if I am happy with “Alto” then I will not work hard to upgrade it to “Swift”

  3. Hi Subra,

    I like your thinking process which you undertake to look towards a problem/solution, but it is discerning to read your posts with regular mention of Gods and religion…I cant understand how a full-grown(pun unintended) knowledgeable man so misfit-tingly introduce religion in Personal finance and be so preachy about it…sounds more like a Religious sermon filled with non-sense for the majority audience… Dissapointing

  4. @ shikhar // if you think that only material things motivate you then you are seriouly in trouble and basically you need to look around and gain some wisdom. no offence meant. just unsolicited advice.

    @Deepak S // well those who are religious (and i dont mean the ritualistic religion) and educated know that religiion is just a relation with excellence. just my unsolicited opinion.

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