Archive for the 'Financial jokes' Category

Life Insurance Mis-selling..

the financial services boom in India is built on the MIS-SELLING by banks, mutual funds, and of course life insurance companies, brokerage houses, housing loan companies….and their market capitalization is so high that it is scary. Mutual funds take the money of a 70 year old man and put it in an equity oriented ‘balanced […]

What a Real Estate Broker says: But what it means

Have been in the RE market for the past 5 months trying to buy a house. Obviously unsuccessfully. However in this period I have met about 5 brokers and they are all SIMILAR in what they say. Mostly they take me to a fellow broker (funny?) who represents the seller. Here are some of the […]

Real Estate Regulator…..

First the warning: this is an attempted humor column, please do not take this seriously…… Once upon a time there was a real estate regulator ….and well he did not have much to do. Before becoming the head regulator he was Executive Director of a very big builder – and he was handling compliance and […]

God saved me from NSEL

Salesman: Hello Mr. Subramanyam, Mr……..Patel calling from …….Share Brokers….from ……………..town (not Mumbai, not Delhi…) of Gujarat…Can I talk to you for 3 minutes? Subra: Sure Salesman: Sir I have a RISK FREE, 13% interest bearing instrument! Subra (with a skeptical look, as always) – why is it risk free and paying a 5% risk premium? […]

Writing an astrology column?

The simple art of writing an astrology column or appearing on television is to write in a way that you say nothing. Let us take some typical lines (in astrology): -those who are single will find somebody attractive to spend your life with. – business travel could be difficult, take care of your health. – […]

Rajiv Gandhi Equity Scheme

If you ever wanted to know how lobbying works, or how any government loots…read on: The government makes a lot of money by introducing a Security Transaction Tax – paid by all buyers and sellers of equities. This is a fantastic tax – it collects a lot of money and the government has to collect […]

Relationship Manager should know

My relationship manager is asking me to buy this product, should I buy this? I have been asked this question a zillion times. My answer is – why do you not learn what you should know and what your relationship manager should know? Actually the answer to this is sheer laziness. Most people do not […]