Archive for the 'Financial jokes' Category

What a Real Estate Broker says: But what it means

Have been in the RE market for the past 5 months trying to buy a house. Obviously unsuccessfully. However in this period I have met about 5 brokers and they are all SIMILAR in what they say. Mostly they take me to a fellow broker (funny?) who represents the seller. Here are some of the […]

Real Estate Regulator…..

First the warning: this is an attempted humor column, please do not take this seriously…… Once upon a time there was a real estate regulator ….and well he did not have much to do. Before becoming the head regulator he was Executive Director of a very big builder – and he was handling compliance and […]

God saved me from NSEL

Salesman: Hello Mr. Subramanyam, Mr……..Patel calling from …….Share Brokers….from ……………..town (not Mumbai, not Delhi…) of Gujarat…Can I talk to you for 3 minutes? Subra: Sure Salesman: Sir I have a RISK FREE, 13% interest bearing instrument! Subra (with a skeptical look, as always) – why is it risk free and paying a 5% risk premium? […]

Writing an astrology column?

The simple art of writing an astrology column or appearing on television is to write in a way that you say nothing. Let us take some typical lines (in astrology): -those who are single will find somebody attractive to spend your life with. – business travel could be difficult, take care of your health. – […]

Rajiv Gandhi Equity Scheme

If you ever wanted to know how lobbying works, or how any government loots…read on: The government makes a lot of money by introducing a Security Transaction Tax – paid by all buyers and sellers of equities. This is a fantastic tax – it collects a lot of money and the government has to collect […]

Relationship Manager should know

My relationship manager is asking me to buy this product, should I buy this? I have been asked this question a zillion times. My answer is – why do you not learn what you should know and what your relationship manager should know? Actually the answer to this is sheer laziness. Most people do not […]

Financial Pornography: Be careful while you open!

this is an old post that I am repeating… I am asked quite often why can you not suggest ’10 best stocks to buy’ or ‘top 5 mutual funds to invest’ or other simpler articles which can ‘lead us to action’. I do have answers to all these questions, but it is difficult to convey […]