What i feel like telling my client but cannot

I do a lot of  training for IFAs – here are somethings that they wish they could tell their clients:

– If you can find all the answers on the net, please ask that website to get you a printout of your portfolio when you want, why should I call the fund house?

– It is much easier to give the client a NFO form rather than spend 30 minutes explaining why he/she does not need it

– If you tell a lie in your life insurance form you are cheating your wife, dummy!

– Here I have spent half an hour telling you why you need this life insurance. Now your brother -in – law who is a doctor asks you to buy a different policy, so you are confused? Why I did advice you about root canal too…what did you do?

– With your kind of equity portfolio, you need to give it a v.i.xxag..ra every day…to stay alive!!

– I am amazed at the end result of how you used all my advice. Please leave by the back door and do not tell the world you are my client! That would be a favor!!

– Ninety seven percent of advisers go on foreign trips by fund houses. They get the 3% like us a bad name!!

– All fund houses throw money at distributors, the ones that do not are the ones who cannot afford!!

– Advisers respond to market forces. If the market forces us to change we will!!

– generally i know more than a website. I know you. Website does not know that after investing in a 30 year product you will ask me the NAV in 30 minutes and then twice every 30 days. The website does not know YOU.

– My fees is not to choose where you should invest. It is for all the protection that I do for you – holding your hand while investing (or not letting you invest in bad schemes) …and calculating your ctc six times a year. It is for telling your mom that her money is safe in Tata Motors, it is for telling your daughter what next to do after her MBA. Incidentally I get only 0.4% on the Rs. 45,00,000 you invested through me!!

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2 Responses to “What i feel like telling my client but cannot”

  1. //f you tell a lie in your life insurance form you are cheating your wife, dummy!//

    Excellent, valid point…!

  2. fantastic !

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