Yesterday I did a small gig on what a Real estate agent says…and how you should interpret it…so today it is the turn of the life insurance agent.

1. Sir since you have an income, you should have a life cover: 

Meaning: You have an income, I need to increase my income, so please take a life cover FROM ME AND MY COMPANY only…all others are bad.

2. Our policies combine risk cover along with investments so it is a good option: 

Our investment performance will be dismal so you will tell your wife, look we have insurance. Your life cover will be very low, so you will tell your wife, ‘see we at least have investment’. So now you are stuck with a lousy product. Congrats.

3.  Buy this policy NOW, it is being withdrawn from 31st of October.

Meaning: the @#$%^^& IRDA has dramatically reduced the commission in this product so a new product is being launched – and I WILL EARN A LOT LESSER if you buy the new product. Alas!!

4. Do not buy Term Insurance, it is not about commission, I get 25% commission anyway.

Meaning: He is being truthful, but 25% of Rs. 6000 is only Rs. 1500…however if you buy an endowment plan with a Rs. 40,000 premium I will get about Rs. 16000 as commission. Same difference.

5. Okay if you MUST buy Term, buy term with return of premium – at least you will get back the amount paid!

Meaning: If you buy term with ROP my commission is assured for the next 30 years because you cannot throw away this product for another 30 years. Actually I am securing my RETIREMENT not your LIFE.

6. Our company is excellent in the Claim Settlement Ratio

Meaning: I have no clue about what this means, please ask my boss or Pattabhiraman Murari of

7. We will pay an excellent TERMINAL bonus, so our ANNUAL bonus that is attached to your policy is low.

Meaning: Our current CEO has made us tell this, however we are now paying a very poor terminal bonus – you see the CEO who promised has retired..and by the time you get the claim you would have forgotten, but hey this is a brilliant sales pitch and worked for us for the past 10 years. But yes, will pay a big TERMINAL bonus in 2044

8. See the illustration it is for 10% and the amount at maturity is Rs. 2,12,44,543.55 now imagine (like last year) if the return is 20% – the amount can exceed Rs. 5 crores! 

Meaning: Sorry sir, I have no clue how or why I made this statement, but my sales manager asked me to tell this. After all you are also mathematically challenged and will not understand this shit, right? Just buy it. I once attended  a training by Subra and he said ‘illustration is a cost illustration and not a return illustration, honest to God, I have no clue what it means.


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  1. Ifa Galaxy’s Srini has to say this

    PVS i too have the same problem Error 404 so i am putting my views here may be a slightly different. Let me see what is your reaction – “All over the world the life insurance agents are the most not sought after sales people. But they have done an incredible job by converting an enquiry into business. I am not here to support whether this clan has done a moral job or not but they have done a great job of increasing the penetration of insurance may be the cost of insurance is high but still credible one i feel. When no other financial product apart from bank deposits have penetrated life insurance has penetrated only because of the agents. In this process it is unfortunate that these agents have put more focus on their bottom line rather than on the client. In a growing country like ours such things take time but now to some extent the awareness has started picking up and i am sure in the coming years we can see more professionals coming into the fray and more ethical ways of marketing catching up in the life insurance industry too.”

  2. Ramesh Mangal PV Subramanyam, I cannot post there (error 404). I tried to put this:

    Regarding point 3: After the launch of the new plans, “Sir, NOW the IRDA has asked us to launch EVEN BETTER products, so you should buy them”. = ‘Sales of these products is the only real way for me to get my targets, so you just buy anything from my product group and I will be happy.’

  3. Nice Article,Truly hitting at how insurance agent churn away a lot of money and keep them under insured. I personally believe that a person should buy Term Insurance rather then Endowment policy or Money Back policy, you can also read this would give you practical life example of being under insured

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