Dealing with Adult children
It is not easy living in a small house, or is it?
This post is not about size of the house, but dealing with kids who have grown up, but refuse to leave the house. How should parents deal with this situation? Is there a solution? Is it simple? I have seen a complete range of reactions (emotional and financial):
1. One set of parents absolutely thrilled with the fact that the son is not leaving them, not getting married, earning well (Rs. 3 million a year is awesome money no for a 28 year old?). The parents have a nice house in a nice Western Suburb of Mumbai. Father was in Senior Management, and mother has 6 years to go for retirement from a Government College.
2. In the second case there are 2 sons – and the parents are worried that the sons are not earning ENOUGH to buy a Mumbai house. They have compromised – they have bought a house in the far away suburbs – but chances are both the sons are not planning to leave. The elder son is about to get married – and wants the 2bhk to be re done to create a bedroom for himself.
3. Parents have bought a big huge flat for the son and daughter-in-law. Thanks to the parents indulgence the house is a big 3 bhk – by Mumbai standards huge house – 1800 sqft. The mother makes ‘dabba’ for son and daughter in law (ok there is a maid who is being supervised) which they take for lunch. She even makes some thing for dinner…and the d-i-l makes rice / roti…
THESE ARE ALL HAPPINESS EVER AFTER KINDA STORIES….
I am sure there are sad ones too…will write about it later..
shinu
a story
a swamiji was always bothered by the villagers that their life is bad and are struggling bcoz of each ones problems… one day he asked all of them to write all their problems down on a paper and tie it to a holy tree 100 mtr away where they were all sitting. again they assembled back and swamiji prayed and said – now run back and get whichever paper they want and that will be their life then on.
what happened – each and every one ran thinking their problems comparing with others….. and finally took their own sheet of paper and problems and lived happily there after…leaving the swamiji in peace of mind
have a nice day.
B
A similar story
A man goes to god witha suitcase of his worries and complains…look this suitcase is full of my worries ….pls take it and make me free of all the worries…the god directs the man to a large hall where other similar people have gathered and asks him to exchange his suitcase with any of those people….the man goes into the hall fast….and comes out even faster and full of joy….god asks…u seem to be happy with ur exchange…man says..i did not exchange my suitcase with any body….god asks….y???…man says…..god….my suitcase was the smallest of all……he lived happily ever after…
Krish
We are 6 siblings in our family and once upon a time my parents struggled to have a decent home. It was my father’s dream to have a large house. When we became NRIs and he wanted us to construct a house on priority. We went a head and he did lot of planning (bed room for each son) eventually constructed a large 3000 Sq.ft home (4 BHK) in year 2000.
8 years later my dad died, my mom died 2 year later and all but one became NRIs in the last 14 years. Only one person is staying in our home for the last 3 years. It is so painful and once a buzzing home is completely an empty house today. I came on a vacation trip to India and visiting our home brought back my childhood and current painful memories.