Hi Subra,
What you are saying makes sense. But sometimes used to think are we unnecessarily worrying about the retirement. If someone has one or more sons wouldn’t they take care of their parents? Say, their parents has decent income can’t they provide the shortage amount for them?

I am taking care of my parents is it too much to expect from my offspring? After all we as Indians still has family values .. right?


To start with this is a comment on the Retirement post that I had done..recently.

I am sure Indians have fantastic family values, maybe that is why we have:

100,000 dowry deaths, female infanticide, at least one rape a day in the rape capital a.k.a New Delhi where we have the PM, President, 3 chiefs of Army, …etc. living.

Ok cutting the irony apart, if you have one child, you are making an assumption that:

1. The child will out live you.

2. The child will be in a great financial and physical shape to look after you and your spouse.

3. If you fall ill, your child will have a house big enough for him / her to accommodate you AND your spouse in THEIR house so that they can look after you.

4. Your child’s spouse will be happy to serve his/ her inlaws for 14 years as a bed ridden patient. The children will happily help the parents. I mean your grandchildren.

5. If your son dies of old age at 81…and you live till 107..your 81 year old daughter in law will be strong enough (mentally and physically) to look after you.

6. If your 60 year old son and 58 year old daughter in law want to go to US for 3 months, you at age 82 will stay alone without any help.

Believe me it is not whether your adorable kid will look after you, it is whether he / she can. I think they CANNOT. Simply because if you are 55 now, your 23 year old daughter is NOT half as fit as you are…..

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  1. Subra Sir,

    I think the last line is most important, I am 32 year old & father is 62 with a by pass operation & surprisingly our fitness levels are same. Some thing to seriously think about.
    2013 should be personal fitness year I think,

    Thanks for making me think about this……

  2. Hi Subra,
    Hmm … I had to agree with your views and Murphy’s law mentioned by Mr.Pattu.
    Now, I started thinking what if I have daughter(s). There is no hope of depending on them during the old age and moreover have to spend more money on their marriage and other customs on every festival every year.

    If a middle class educated person like me thinking in that angle, then no wonder less priveleged people involved in dowry problems and prefer female infanticide.

    This makes me thinking all this is caused because of our so called Indian family values? Sometimes used to think what if we also have very individualistic life(self-dependent) as in western countries. But that is too dry and humanless in that lifestyle. Confused … Subra, do you have any solution to this??

  3. whatever i do or not do, i do not provide solutions. I provoke, entertain, prod, poke…..people think it is educate, good.

    Want a solution? use your own brain please.

  4. Thanks Subra. I mostly met people who jump to provide their solution even before I ask. Using my own brain,no one told me this in my school !!. My brain now says invest heavily, live frugally , enjoy life to the fullest and then go to vanaspratha after 60 yrs with your spouse πŸ™‚

  5. Yeah, it is less about if they will, it is more about if they can.. Nicely said.

    Let us do our part for retirement, assuming they cannot. If they do, it will be a bonus.

    And, me < 30, I have more reasons to save than to worry if my kid will take care. πŸ˜€

  6. When you say “I think they CANNOT. Simply because if you are 55 now, your 23 year old daughter is NOT half as fit as you are” ….
    I did not clearly understand. Can you please explain? you mean that the 23 year old daughter is not physically/mentally fit?

    How does law-of-attraction work here? YAD BHAVAM TAD BHAVATHI … I am confused πŸ™‚

  7. @Kumar: He means that the fitness level of the younger generation is less. And belonging to that generation, I agree. πŸ™

  8. Do not quite agree with the post. The scenarios that the author is considering – seem to be a rarity. “If your son dies of old age at 81…and you live till 107..your 81 year old daughter in law will be strong enough (mentally and physically) to look after you?” Seriously? Going by the last line of the author’s article, if the 2nd generation isn’t half as fit as the first, trust me, they are not going to live up to 81.
    Most often, people who don’t have their parents staying with them – are doing so because they did not WANT TO have them – and not because they CAN NOT have them stay. If you are 60 years old, and are retired, your 25-30 year old daughter/son is probably just about settled in her new life. At this stage, it’s more about whether or not they want you to stay with them, and not about if they can. Of course, both of them might be working and you might be sick and made to stay alone at home. It is still about whether they want to take care of you. And I am talking about middle class families here.
    I rest my case.

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