One kid in our office was expressing some negative thoughts, or so I thought. Went to my archives and sent him a note on positive thoughts, and positive behavior. In fact wanted to send him the example from ‘The Secret’ but did not have a soft copy. The gist was if you keep saying something, it will happen.
He called me and said ‘Are you becoming (or trying to become) my mentor?’.
I suddenly realised that people use words like ‘mentor’ quite easily without giving the importance for the word.
Will I take the role of a mentor to ANYBODY? Well the answer is yes, provided the following conditions are fulfilled:
1. The person who wants me to be a mentor should approach me. This means not his father, mother, wife, girlfriend, doctor….THE PERSON HIMSELF.
2. It should be for a specific portion of the person’s life – not a life mentor. Only you can control your life.
3. The engagement has to be in writing, and I will draft the terms.
4. In this area that person should listen only to me, and any change should be after a discussion.
5. It will be operational only on a fee paying basis. Payable in advance.
Why such terms?
Well my grandmother used to say …’My ear does not hear if I ask it to hear, my eye does not see if I ask it to see, my legs do not run if I ask them to run….if things born with me do not listen to me, why should I expect people born after me to listen to me?’
Continuing the same philosophy..I do think the natural tendency of a person is ‘not to listen to me’ because I do not hold an ‘official position’ over him/her. So if there is to be a change in behavior, that person has to tell me..he/she wants some change and a strategy has to be drawn. All this is painful for the person – and for me.
I refuse to go through pain without being paid. Not sure if you agree, but friend I cannot be your mentor, unless YOU want me to and are willing to pay me for the same.
However I will keep recommending articles, books, things to do,….that is NOT MENTORING..it is just FORMATIVE feedback. The responsibility for change is still with you.
For forcing a change, there will be a fee.
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