Goldman Sachs fraud allegation

IIM Bangalore has a forum…one of them had posted this Just reproducing what I found:

NORFOLK, VIRGINIA – Eleven indicted Somali pirates dropped a bombshell in a U.S.court today, revealing that their entire piracy operation is a subsidiary of banking giant Goldman Sachs.

There was an audible gasp in court when the leader of the pirates announced, “We are doing God’s work. We work for Lloyd Blankfein.”

The pirate, who said he earned a bonus of $48 million in dubloons last year, elaborated on the nature of the Somalis’ work for Goldman, explaining that the pirates forcibly attacked ships that Goldman had already shorted.

“We were functioning as investment bankers, only every day was casual Friday,” the pirate said.

The pirate acknowledged that they merged their operations with Goldman in late 2008 to take advantage of the more relaxed regulations governing bankers as opposed to pirates, “plus to get our share of the bailout money.”

In the aftermath of the shocking revelations, government prosecutors were scrambling to see if they still had a case against the Somali pirates, who would now be treated as bankers in the eyes of the law.

“There are lots of laws that could bring these guys down if they were, in fact, pirates,” one government source said. “But if they’re bankers, our hands are tied.”

Comments: The pirates also were not happy with their bonuses because there was a Goldman subsidiary in Switzerland which ran a big ‘Piracy, Ransom, KidnappingĀ  and Abduction Cover’ the profits of which included Ransom Negotiation Fees of $ 1 Billion. However Goldman big bosses said this was invested in bonds of Greece, and hence the bonus would be paid in Euro instead of US $. Last heard they were still negotiating the average currency rates for the Euro and the $.

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4 Responses to “Goldman Sachs fraud allegation”

  1. Ravinder Makhaik on May 4th, 2010 at 11:31 am

    That’s an interesting business model to try out – more or less similar to home grown ‘Firaothi’ ransom model.

    Only I did not know that it could attract lesser punishment should it be clubbed with investment banking instead of hardcore crime.

  2. Hardik Vania on May 4th, 2010 at 11:52 am


    It’s hilarious.

    I think Goldman Sachs is your favorite topic Now a Days….

    But on Serious note – Don’t you think that “if fools are ready to buy crap (Those CDRs) than Intelligent (shrewd) GS should make profit out of it”

    I still believe that – Being aware of the scenario GS sold these instruments But bigger question is other Wall street giant were not aware of such things?

    My 2 Cents

  3. Hardik,

    ‘Intelligent (shrewd) GS should make profit if fools are ready to buy crap’ – violently disagree. If you come to me as a professional (financial adviser) depending upon my expertise and I cheat you – it is a shame on the professional.

    If I am dealing with you as a principal (like a shop keeper) what you say may be partially true if you are in a Hill station, but if you expect the client to come back to you, this trick (theoretically) should not work. But for GS it has worked…proving that some people can fool all the people all the time. Perhaps.

    Personally I would rather have a reputation of a Tata rather than the money of GS.

  4. Dear Hardik
    If you go to a doctor for an appendectomy and he removes your kidney as well because you are not a “sophisticated” patient with no knowledge of anatomy and surgery and the doctor is.. Will you accept it?..
    The very reason people go to a sophisticated professional is because they will guide us.. Not swindle us.. Consider a situation where EVERY profassional behaves like GS.. Imagine the chaos..

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