Women and Financial Independence
This is based on the lives of 4 women I know personally who have been cheated by their husbands. I am not getting too much into the details, but all the 4 stories have had a pattern….
H and W get married…live well. Then the H turns and says “listen why do you not look after the family and be a housewife”. In some cases the wife said “I will stay at home” or the husband says “stay at home”.
So the 28 year old woman gives up her job and becomes a housewife. Great.
Then one fine day the wife finds out about the “other woman”. In one case it was after the “other woman” was pregnant.
Wrong? Right?
None of my business. I am not passing a value judgement. Just saying that the spouse who wants to separate plans in advance and changes all the assets to single name. The other spouse will not know about this. I have seen women changing (when they wanted to leave their husbands for a different guy), and have seen men doing it too.
So how do women keep their independence in place if they give up their careers for looking after the family?
Well. I do not know. I would suggest the following:
The wife should take a salary from the H to look after her house/ their house whatever you want to call it.
What should she do other than this? Make sure that she is a joint holder of the property in which they live or a house of equivalent value in a location where she would like to live.
She should make sure that her husband’s life insurance policies are in her control and she sees her name as a nominee. No compromise on that. She should also ensure that SHE has enough cash flow to pay the premium on HIS LIFE. Her life insurance does not matter – she would be dead for it to be claimed.
She should have some investments at least which are in her name – the H could be the nominee. Make sure that there is at least one bank account where the W is the single holder.
If the parents of the W are dependent on her then there should be some life insurance in which her parents are the nominee.
What about the kids? Well it is the parents responsibility.
I know of fathers who have said “I do not have money” for their kids education. Our maid pays for the children’s education. I have no clue why he does not contribute, but I hear from her that he does not and she has to bear the costs herself.
Think about your financial independence and the financial fidelity of your husband before you chuck the job….
sheetal sane
Sir, well said. Women’s financial independence is never taken seriously. I would partially blame women for this. They feel finance is men’s world and we need not know. I have seen well educated and even working women dont take care of their money. This needs serious attention. Thank you for bringing out this topic, sir !
Passionateaboutretail
Agree. Also the women should participate in the financial decision making also. Inspite of working the woman might not involve or might not be interested in the investments, financial goals etc .
Amit
The article doesn’t encourage women to become financial independent. Rather it asks them to take control of husband’s assets . Women should continue their career even after marriage and contribute towards family and live their life as well. The decision to leave the career should be their own if they want to take care of the family. It should never be imposed on anyone.
I have seen families breaking up when people try to take control and dominate other person. There are many cases where wife fights with husband for taking care of his parents.
All assets earned by any person whether husband or wife should be in their own name only and nobody should force them to add the other person. Both genders are responsible to take care of their house and responsibilities. In this age, when there is no gender bias in corporate world then why to create it in personal life as well.
CK
Gender bias in dowry case exists!
Deepak
My wife also quit when we had our first kid : every month 30k hits her account and no questions asked what she does with it. Have built a 1.3 CR mf portfolio in her name and she is the nominee for all my insurance policies and a fairly large mf portfolio. She is joint holder in the property we own. I am now trying to get her to go back to finishing her CFP and set up a practice. It’s a tough conversation at home to get her to realize there might / will be a day when I might not manage these actively…. Still working on this . Thanks to your blog, have been trying to get her to read and appreciate the need.
Lakshmi
Well said.Glad to see such article. It’s always women in most cases educated or not, believe it’s men’s responsibility to handle financial things. Right from my mother who is a higher secondary education to my friend who graduated in IITs don’t take part their financial role.In reality most of them are denied.I have forwarded your link to many friends.I would request you to write more and more on women financial independence.
Lakshmi
A raw reality. A genuine article
PD
Subra,
Since when you became a divorce counsellor?
All the divorce laws in the country are in favour of the wife, then why should the wife take control of all finances in a family?
If the wife does all that you say in a normal family, the husband will feel he is been conned. Please do not preach these things based on one or two cases you may have seen in 30 years.
PD
One thing you missed, a pre-nuptial agreement clearly stating what the wife gets during divorce. That will help a lot.
MD
In this day and age there are women who have never operated a bank account, have never gone to a bank, forget transactions online… to correct this I guess the Streedhan has to remain in the lady’s name… and preferably a fixed sizable amount every year for her to use or invest as she pleases…what is shocking is several of my friends are proud to wave it away and say that “oh he manages all that….”