A few days ago a small piece of flesh was lying next to me. I woke up with a start..and it started speaking to me!

It said I’m your conscience and in sanskrit I’m a part of your Atma. The Englishman has nicely separated the two, so you may not realize that a part of your soul is dying.

I protested …’I never killed you’. In fact in 1988 I gave up Income Tax practice to reduce the stress for you, remember?

My atma said ‘Oh really’. Thank you so much. 55 years of shit from you is what I could take…you u killed me little by little.

Remember class 9 Chemistry test when you changed your answer from Ferric to Ferrous after you peeked into Kumar Iyer’s paper?

You remember when you took Shankie uncle’s gift money to school and blew it in the canteen?

You remember taking that pocket transistor to school?

I died a little on each of those days. Why even the day you smoked that one cig? God I was under some pressure, but  I kept saying ‘he is a young body’. Remember my age is 348 years and I can understand the physical needs of a young body.

As the body grew older, you got bolder. In none of the above did you hurt anybody, but as you got wiser, you got more selfish did you not?

Of course not, I protested!

Remember that dinner in that 7* hotel in Agra when your food cost more than the annual salary of the guy holding the door open for you and the other rogues?

Rogues?! dammit they were senior bankers! how dare you call them rogues?

Remember that designer shirt that you bought? and there was a woman outside that shop sitting in tatters? and you gave her a small note? ha that was to pacify me, right? My foot, I died a little you jerk. …now my conscience was getting irritated.

Remember all the training that you do to help ‘Wealth Managers’ meet sales targets and deplete people’s wealth and increase the bank’s wealth – and yours too? I die every day you did training for them.

Hey I do Retirement Planning training which helps people save/ invest for their old age!

Grudgingly my conscience agreed “that’s one of the things that made me live so long’.

Ha, I had some respite…but the bloody fellow was not willing to give up…

Remember Pallavi your servant’s daughter came to do your house work when her mother was ill? and you were too chicken to tell your wife …?

Or then the HR head of a company owned by your friend behaved badly with a young girl…er..um..sexually….you know you guys did not hand him to the police? I died a thousand times that very day.

When you do not mind the vegetable vendor’s son delivering veggies to your house instead of attending school?

Or when you just switched channels when you saw the news about rape?

Worse was of course when you did not tell the F….g Fund Manager that his bonus of US $ 1.5 Million was a loot or that he was just lucky to be in the right place at the right time?

Or when ….

Hello these are errors of commission or omission?

My conscience said “F…you it does not matter”. When you come out of BKC meeting one of those terribly over paid jokers and you see some kids scavenging through a dustbin for food and you do NOTHING, it sucks Subra, let me die.

Or that day when 8 of you over fed oafs came out of K…r restaurant with a bill almost touching half a lakh…and did not give one rupee to that kid selling flowers at 11.45 pm….I felt YOU should have died, but I could not kill you.

So I died again.

Now be good enough and give me a good burial. I know you have attended Jain funerals where you hear that you are the soul and not the body? Well Subra only your body is alive, i died long back.

I just woke up…it was just a dream.

Thank God I am alive and BFSI is the highest paid place and my place there is secure.

I am continuing to be over-paid. Thank God, it is only my conscience which died. I guess I can live with that.

Not original – saw something like this elsewhere…


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  1. Why Subrabhai?

    Why would you be so brutal? is it even fair?

    btw you are the reason I’m an akshayapatra donor. Besides a lot of other good things, including not bargaining with the sabjiwalla.

  2. Society will always organize itself into haves and have-nots. Always. It so happens that in current times, the BFSI lot are the haves, Media and Tech lot is the next set of haves, the govt and Mafia are the last set of haves. Everybody else falls into have-nots.

    Long ago, or maybe not so long ago, the Brahmins were the haves, the kshatriyas were the next set…you get the picture?

    So grill, torture, or bury your conscience all you want. The social order isn’t going to change….Help the poor, hungry, naked kid all you want…its not gonna prevent another poor, hungry, naked kid from showing up 3, 4, or even 10 generations from now.

  3. 🙁
    my eyes got filled with tears. I’ll be a better human from this moment. Please help/guide to stay on the path.

  4. Subra sir,
    When I read through, I felt as if my conscience is speaking to me. Thanks a ton for awaking me sir. I realize how I’ve been killing my soul all these years.
    Thank you for this awesome heart touching post.

  5. heart touching, pls let’s all reduce our requirements, so that we can give back or leave something for someone else to take.

    We have become just too greedy

  6. Suhas,

    I agree but when you see an old man/woman in winter still give them a blanket or a biscuit packet. Give a chocolate to a kid.

    Then lets share our gyaan about NGO.

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