One Atiker had replied to ‘Giving assets to children’…I think it has to be replied…so here it is

The article made me sad, I don’t know what in it made me sad.

A pension of 28k is small ? Its income of some of my married relatives with kids.

Everybody is not the same. So before you say anything you need to know how it is in the other person’s shoes. So yes you become sad because you do not know the circumstances of the person that I am talking about. Yes you had no life insurance and you did not die, so you think insurance is not necessary? Is that it?

An 80 year old with medical expenses of 8000 per month for self and Rs. 2400 for his spouse will find it difficult to live on a pension of Rs. 28000. For him 28000 is NOT ENOUGH. Sure there are families living on 2900 a month, but that is irrelevant here.

61k-55k is not sufficient for a couple age 80 ? Man its the take home of many employed in software industry now.

If you are paying 20k rent, 11k for medical expenses, and Rs. 30k per month for nursing, things are different I presume.

A 80 year old has a house but he lives in old age and instead his son lives there and pays a rent of 20k.
Sorry, I am very very old school. I can’t even think of giving or taking money from my parent as an agreement for anything. If they need something I just pay, and if I need something they don’t lid an eyebrow. Its all in the family. I believe that whatever happens to my parents I will be there to take care of them, financially medically whatever. If I am in trouble they will be with me, even to take care of me if I am bedridden.

This is amazingly judgemental and I am happy that I am not like you. It is none of my business where people live. I am not sure if you have looked after your parents, and they are what age. When you are 64 years of age have a wife who has arthiritis and are looking after aged parents, life is not easy. You need infrastructure to look after a diabetic, alzheimers patient who has a wife who is hard of hearing. Try putting yourself in that shoes. Then this man has to go abroad to be with his daughter for her child delivery. What should he outsource Atiker? Just asking. Sorry if I am sounding rude.

Sorry, I am bewildered, I am maybe lost touch with what the current world is like, what is reality. I don’t consider spending on my kids as expense, that’s my responsibility as I had brought them to world. I assume my parents too did the same. How can I ever ever think of repaying them, I cant. Least I can do is live together with them. No maid, can take care of them emotionally the way I can. At sunset its only the children’s face that one wants to see, the progeny for which one lived most of his adult life.

Lovely ideal world. Where should a woman whose only son (unmarried) dies before her? May I have your address Atiker?


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  1. Different folks, different strokes. This Atiker seems to be having a very utopian view. I have first hand experience of caring for aging parent, losing memory and cognitive functioning, it is very difficult to watch the person deteriorate because of the emotional bond we share with a dear one. The third party (nurse or helper) is very necessary as (if they’re patient) they have a more objective perspective, it helps primary caretaker focus on emotional aspect of the person and the helper can take care of the physical and day to day aspects (which takes a huge amount of energy, time, patience).

  2. It is sad to see honest opinion beaten in the bush, that too in a separate post from Subra Sir, no less. Fully disagree with the way this post is written though situation may be right, could’ve been handled differently. After all, it is just an opinion.
    And, I definitely agree with what Atiker’s written, utopian view or not, it shows how much world’s turned materialistic and incessantly goes searching for that invisible happiness when ignoring your own family (myself included).

  3. I agree with Subra completely on this. I have seen both sides of the coin in my relatives families. One 40 year old daughter not taking care of her own father and her husband using abusive words for his father in law in front of him. The old man is helpless as he has no pension no money totally penniless.

    In another case a 50 year old daughter taking care of her father who is 82 years old. father is cranky as he has very less pension and his dependent on daughter. He curses and blames his own daughter who is helping her. The daughter has to take care of her job her own family and then her father and gets only scorn in return.
    This state of affairs even though all above people have the best intentions in mind.

    So dear Sirs, what Subra Sir has said is real and these are people who are more than 50 years which means they are from a previous generation. So this has been the case in all times and not a problem of new generation. The world has always been materialistic . The utopian picture given by Atiker is just that a Utopia

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