This is purely fictional. Caveat: Any inaccuracies please excuse theknow  author ….

Client: Mr. X I wish to buy Bournvita

Shop keeper: Sir you could try Chocolate Horlicks too – it tastes and costs similar…

Client: No. Gimme Bournvita

Shop keeper: Sir I am sure you know how to use it…!!

Client: I can read instructions, thank you.

Client: I want some sleeping pills too…

SK: Sir I am allowed to sell that ONLY with a prescription..

Client: Oh why is that?

SK: Sir this is supposed to be for your protection. You can die by taking a wrong dosage..and without medical supervision.

Client: I want some Mutual funds also

SK: Sir I have 4645 schemes from which you can choose…

C: In which fund should I invest?

SK: I really do not know sir. I have passed one exam with 89% marks (wow!!!) but I am not supposed to advise you

C: I need to invest Rs. 50L where should I invest?

SK: Sir I have mutual funds, company fixed deposits, life insurance, post office products,….what do you want?

C: I do not know – you offered me Chocolate horlicks instead of Bournvita…so tell me in mutual funds…

SK: No sir, I cannot. I am not allowed to.

C: So what should I do?

SK: Sir my wife is a RIA, my father is an NISM certified mutual fund salesman, I am also NISM certified distributor

C: So what should I still do?

SK: go to my wife and ask her to write what you should buy….

C: does she know what I should buy?

SK: yes sir she has passed an exam…

C: but you too have passed the same exam with better marks…that is what you told me…

SK: yes sir…but she can write a prescription…I cannot

C: will she charge me a fee?

SK: yes sir she will charge you a fee of Rs. 35000 to tell you what funds to buy.

C: is that not a little steep?

SK: I do not know sir, I am not competent to comment..not at all…she is registered you see…

C: Will you charge me a fee?

SK: no sir..I will not charge YOU a fee

C: are you sure you will not charge me a fee?

SK: sir I will charge you Rs. 500 for doing a kyc

C: what else?

SK: in case you wish I will enter all this in a free website..and I will charge you a fee of Rs. 2500 as accounting charges

C: I thought you were not supposed to charge me..

SK: Oops sir I forgot my sister will charge you rs. 15,000 per annum as accounting charges..for doing all this. Not me.

C: Oh so your father, wife and sister will charge me…but you will not charge me.

SK: that is right sir. So you will pay 3 cheques of Rs. 35,000, Rs. 15000 and Rs. 18000 towards those charges

C: Here..are the 3 cheques..here is the cheque favoring the fund ……

SK: what? just Rs. 5000? Oh SIP?

C: No sir. One time investment. I wanted to invest Rs. 60000….but after paying all of the agents….now I am left with only 5000 for investing..