Dale Carnegie wrote a book ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ – it is a great book which every kid in class 8 to end of graduation should read and make it a habit as much as possible. Sure today there are more gadgets available but you should take the trouble to read and implement the same. Do it.

This blog is not about Dale Carnegie, it is about me. I am trying to tell you what makes me what I am..or rather what I say which makes me well – not so popular and not so influential. At least on my face people say nice things..so I am loving it..but what do I say that people do not like?

  1. Milk is not good for health, go vegan: OMG people hate me for this..but let me assure you try doing this no milk (largely for vegetarians this is what it means) do it as an experiment for 15 days and then post on my blog about how was your experiment. I know friends, their kids, etc. who do not like doctors who say ‘milk is harmful for the calcium in your body’ . Or come to the cruelty part. A cow is impregnated continuously – so that milk can be produced. In the milking process they get puss and blood too apart from the milk. Righteously a part of this milk belongs to the calf. Think of it. A child’s food is being used to make the rasgoollas that you ate yesterday. The gulab jamun that you had looks red or brown? Do you get a SICK feeling? I AM TRYING TO GO FULL VEGAN but have not succeeded. Pray or reiki for me!!
  2. Do not buy a house: ‘Subra is mad’ you should put in your share of 20% and buy a house. After all who gives you a loan @ 10%p.a. to buy an asset which ASSUREDLY grows @ 20% for 200 years? Well well ‘Innumeracy’ I chuckled. What to do it is impossible to convince people that renting is far more sensible than buying. In many cases even the act of furnishing (say Rs. 5o lakhs) is not a worthwhile proposition to renting @ say 20k a month!! However when you talk about this it gets emotional. ‘Subra you know investing is not an IQ decision, it is an EQ decision’ or ‘First house you should think from the heart not from the head’ or…blah blah blah..Honestly there is no math which can shake me from my stand. I am happy that people think that they should buy a house. The biggest cost of buying a house is interest cost. Hdfc (a permanent kinda member in my portfolio since 1980) has a king’s share of the business. Ultratech sell cement. Godrej Properties sells dreams. Oberoi Realities is no longer there in my portfolio, but I have fond memories. DLF fond memories (I was about to buy, but did not, saved a big amount), I will soon be buying metals. Asian Paints of course is a darling. Why will I crib? Happy to be a little contrarian and a little unpopular and a person who cannot influence people. My bad.
  3. Get married ONLY if you are ready for marriage: this makes me a persona non grata among my friends because their children pounce on them saying ‘see Subra uncle is also saying this’ so the friends with grown up unmarried children are a little suspicious about my friendship with them 🙂 I think. I do not think a person should get married because he/she has reached a particular salary, grandparents want to see their great grandchildren, or that you have a great job, or you have bought a house, or your last friend standing also fell into the matrimonial trap, ….NO. Get married only when you are ready. Ask him/her views on work ethic, who will keep a job, income sharing, work sharing, parental care sharing……even if you think these are 20 years away. Have the broad picture. Then take the plunge. There is no right age for getting married. Ditto all this before you have a kid. Getting married NEED not mean you MUST have kids. You could go rear a cat!! or a Russel Viper. Choose your poison. It need not be marriage.
  4. Uber. Ola, EasyCab, Meru – all of them are making the motor industry shape up. More importantly it removes the need of a workhorse car. You could still buy a Silver Ghost if your money permits. Remember to drive a car of that caliber will require some training – but in the driver seat you could get a massage 🙂 . Parents who did not own a car like to push their children harder. Remember the elephant who abandoned her child because she could not swing from tree to tree like the monkey kids.
  5. Eat less, exercise regularly, sleep early, get up in the mornings and go for a walk : well easy things are different ….and difficult to fathom….think of an answer tomorrow…

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  1. lakshminarasimman

    sir i am writing what i have seen in my life

    sir i agree with your intention of point 3.
    but delaying marriage near or after 30 is not good for both boys and girls especially for girls

    i believe right age for boys marriage is 27-30. if that boy is not mentally mature or stable by this age, he will never be.

    i also agree with you about not having children without mental preparation
    but delaying children will only make it even more harder to have them later especially for girls after 30

    also if a boy is done having 1 or 2 children by 35, his retirement planning also wont be affected. by 60, his children will be 25 at least and hopefully into their own lives.

  2. marriage is optional. having kids is optional. Do it ONLY if you are responsible enough to do it. Not because somebody says so…

  3. one sure shot way of loosing friends is talking about retirement….people unlike u if u talk about retirement…have tried to convenience a lot of people to start planning…but ALL of them have not liked that idea..most common reason…its too early..even a 46 yr old said that..people log on to subramoney on pursuing..only to drop off after a couple of days..

  4. Well marriage age and to have children both have an expiry date. If you delay them you are making things difficult. Either dont have marriage/children or have them early. And I am talking from a common person’s perspective and not someone with a huge inheritance or highly tallented people making high sums. The late you marry the late you get kids the later you would be free from life. Its highly likely you would never feel ready for marriage (especially boys) or to have kids. I wasnt but I did because my expiry date was very close (I was 29 than).

  5. lakshminarasimman

    continuation post. sorry this is very long even for me

    before there are 25 people appreciating your post and telling vivekananda adishankara abdul kalam never married i wanted to tell 2 3 more points

    if parents of vivekananda abdul kalam decided marriage is optional and children are optional vivekananda kalam wont be even there!

    those parents were rich because of children like vivekananda and kalam not because they bought hindustan lever or hdfc bank before independence

    பெறுமவற்றுள் யாமறிவது இல்லை அறிவறிந்த
    மக்கட்பேறு அல்ல பிற.

    out of the 16 forms of wealth even if 1 is missing you are poor and the biggest wealth is good children.

    when it comes to marriage and having children it is timing of the market and not time in the market. long time in the market will only harm you.

    umang nicely said about expiry date for boys. same for girls also

    last point

    if you see discovery channel animals with big horns big hair big body strong fighting skills fight and get their mates. the losing animal is driven away and most of the cases it will die alone

    we human beings are also animals only thing we fight with mba ca be mbbs cholamandalam home loan bank balance etc.

  6. it is sheer nonsense to think of children as wealth. I think that is why parents stupidly think that they should ‘shepherd’ the children.

  7. You can get wealthy (or may not) @ 40, but you can’t marry at that age. I saw many persons becoming rich @ 50, if they thought of ‘NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE’ @ 30, what can they do with their wealth @ 50???

    Now a days, I am seeing many girls going around fertility clinics just for the reason they thought THEY ARE NOT READY for marriage a few years back.

    I am not talking about ‘DEPENDENCE on KIDS’ in old age., having family & raising kids is also one of life’s experiences which they may won’t get “WHEN THEY FEEL THEY ARE READY”.

    This is just my opinion.

  8. Subra
    Regarding marraige what do you mean by “feeling responsible enough”
    Is it only financial,emotional or anything else too?
    Any way same rule doesn’t apply to all.
    I don’t think anybody has to be filthy rich or well settled to start a family…
    And about milk ,do you also rule out products like cheese/yogurt,etc which are proved go be better than milk, in terms of digestion and nutrition?
    And is milk ok if produced naturally and without cruelty?
    How do people and especially children get their important nutrition if they avoid milk?
    I guess it should be OK as long as one is able to digest it !

  9. Subra,

    You know that you and certain Dr. PG is on hit list of my parents for Point # 1 & 2

    You have seen that yourself…. 🙂

    But frankly, I love whatever you say… the fun is in listening the “way” you say it with some weird examples that people will find hard to digest 😛

  10. So you dont take Curd, buttermilk because it is derivatives of Milk. Great then…some people dont eat onion and garlic. some eat fish, till they claim vegan.
    regarding marriage, you are right. it is on people choice , not social pressure.
    What lakshminarayan might be telling After marriage, having child is primary wealth. thats what Thiruvalluvar described.

  11. ” Why will I crib? Happy to be a little contrarian and a little unpopular and a person who cannot influence people. My bad. ”

    Just realised that the responses on this post are actually endorsing the above statement ;).

    Behavioural Finance is more about Behaviour than about Finance : this is my takeaway from Subra Sir’s articles.

  12. It is not about age. It is about the maturity to run a family and be responsible for its success. If you are not ready, dont think about marriage and kids. Dont marry if someone said so. The same thing applies to retirement and any of your action too. Be responsible for your actions.

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