RM: Hello Mrs. Subra (name changed of course)

Client: Hello!!

RM: Madam you are our privilege customer and we are happy to be dealing with you. You are our Regal customer…..

Client: Oh, thank you, so what?

RM: Madam in this Regal category you are about Rs. 5L short to retain this status..so could you please do a FD worth Rs. 5L or buy some ULIP or at least some mutual fund investment …

Client: Who made me Regal customer?

RM: Madam the bank did

Client: did the bank ask me?

RM: It was automatic based on the Rs. 30L balance that yu had kept

Client: Did I ask the bank to make me Regal?

RM: No maam..but you were entitled…but…

Client: So take me off this exalted list

RM: No maam you will then lose privileges…

Client: what privileges?

RM: better rates in FDs with us..

Client: I invest in mutual funds.

RM: Please invest that through us

Client: Sorry that slot is taken

RM: Take life insurance

Client: too expensive!! and get it – we are too old and have no dependents..

What to say? ..?????

 

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  1. One conversation:
    Telephone rings…
    Me: Hello
    Sales Guy: Sir, I’m from Life Insurance Corporation, you have LIC policy?
    Me: Yes…?
    SG: Sir, is your policy verified?
    Me: Verified? What’s that?
    SG: Sir, we do verification of Life Insurance Policies to make sure everything is in order. Sir, when can we come to your place for verification? This service is free!
    Me: Free?
    SG: Yes sir, your address please, we can come anytime you want!
    Me: You are from LIC, you know I have LIC policy, can’t you verify yourself?
    SG: No sir, we need to see all documents for verification, that’s why…When can I come, sir?
    Me: Not needed…thank you, my mamaji is LIC agent, I will verify thru him!

    Telephone cut…!!!

  2. I have accounts with PSBs, so they never bother me whether I have Rs.50 or 50 lakhs (No, I don’t have 50 lakhs !) , so thank God !

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