If you are wondering what gift to give your mother, sister, girl friend, or wife….well give them respect. Most women I know crave for respect – even at home, and even from their own kids. Most of their activities are spent in trying to earn this. And the kind of effort that they have to put in to earn this is not funny.

Cooking well, keeping the house clean, ….are all excuses to hear a word of praise. So read on…

I just met a 63 year old woman who had lost her parent. Even though she had a few siblings she was looking after her widower father alone. She was in a ‘old’ peoples home with hardly any friends within a nearby location. Her siblings had to fly in from various parts of the country / world.

She had no clue about either the municipal formalities, banking formalities, or anything else of her late father. She could just bank the cheques mechanically without thinking about it.

She was not a dumb woman. She had a PhD in philosophy, but had given up all that long, long ago for taking care of her demanding husband and 3 kids. Now this great husband in order to “protect” her had always provided her with a car, driver, etc. and she was completely dependent on “somebody” to go out. For her going out meant calling for a taxi – now in the place she lived there were no easy ‘phone a taxi’ . Her husband was traveling and she was alone when her father died. She was shattered – not by the grief, but she was overwhelmed with the task.

she did not access a bank account, did not use the net banking, did not use the atm, the cell phone was only for receiving calls…She could not send or receive a sms. She was reduced to a vegetable.

do not do this to the women in your house.

All her 3 daughters were married and in 3 different parts of the world. To them their grandfather’s death meant Mom was now available as a nanny supervisor. You know the revised dialogue “Mom you need not do anything, Just supervise my nanny who looks after my kids”, amusing is it not!

this is not about being judgemental. If you want your spouse (sorry, I actually mean wife) to live a happy life after your death, TEACH her about money, make a will and ensure that there is enough money. However if she is a philosophy graduate also tell her not to sign cheques for the bank manager who is selling her a lemon. And leave her enough money that she can tell her own kids “#$%^&’ – i will not look after your kids.

This woman calls me once in a while and says “will you teach me how to handle money…my husband knows it, but does not teach me anything’. And she does not know me from Adam. She invests through me, but does not know a mutual fund from a rabbit or an elephant.

Teach the women around you. Sorry to market, but www.subramoney.com is a good place to ask questions.

You owe this to your wife, at the very least. The best diwali, eid, or Christmas or Woman’s day gift can only be financial awareness.

We all feel for the woman journalist in the Tehelka case. Tarun Tejpal is exactly what we hate in MEN. High handed, arrogant, and assuming that he would be able to get away with it like how he got along in the past….

Do we respect / think of the cow that gives us the milk that should RIGHTFULLY gone to its calf?

Lets respect all animals too…..its time we  did…..

Not sure if your soul will rest in peace if you are unsure if your wife is getting cheated somewhere by some unscrupulous nephew, son, daughter in law, finance professional, banker, …..

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  1. Respect and honest appreciation is what most wife/mothers value most. While my wife is totally comfortable driving in the US, she just won’t touch the car in India – all honks, no lane discipline, random vehicles darting about every which way,… – she just hates it!

    I sometimes help out with the parents of a cousin. I am very shocked how this man has kept his wife insulated from everything useful and purposeful – driving, banking, gas-booking, payments of all bills, ordering grocery,…I look around and think my parents gen. are sort of a messy lot (no offence intended)…

  2. VK at 77 my mother lives with my 86 year old father. Pays her bills, cooks, handles the Atm, travels around the country along with my parent, handles doctors, medication, – apart from day to day living.

    Many people much younger do not do that.

  3. Subra, till recently ( about 10 year back!!!!) I used to crib about my husband. But now after reading this article I am very thankful to him… I do look after everything… my house, car, my investment, banking, travel bookings etc. Shall actually tell him thank you in a VERY VERY SLY way.. else it will go to his head!!! 🙂

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