Tough question to ask. I have no clue as to what age I will move into an old age home. By this I do not mean geriatric care, but just a place where I can get some assistance for day to day living.

For most people it is ‘when I feel I cannot live on my own I will move’ – this is like an employee saying ‘I will retire when I feel I cannot do the work assigned to me’ – it is a completely nightmarish a situation.

So using some American examples, let us see what ‘Activities of Daily Living’ that you should be able to perform (properly) to be able to live alone (or with spouse, assuming she is of the same age):

Get up from bed

Sit and Stand without any assistance

Do personal grooming properly

Use the toilet

Cook

Eat

bathe

banking – investing, make payments for utilities, etc.

shopping

walk – for your personal requirements

be alert to the service providers – maid, cook, driver, etc.

ANSWER YOURSELF honestly, and if you fail one of these tests, move into an institution which provides assisted living.

What more tests should actually be seen?

– ability to handle medication

– manage laundry

– manage security in the house

– manage phone calls

– not have a neuro / physical problem

And living alone is an absolute no no if you have a history of memory lapses, any illness which leads to fainting, …etc.

Happy to add more…

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  1. sir,.it will be more informative if you could advice whether we have to move on outright purchase or lease/rent to old age homes.The elders will be at the fag end and the siblings have to run around after their demise for recovery.
    G.subramanian

  2. When should you move to an old age home?

    when you are absolutely sure that you want/like to/will/have to/must DIE alone

    on a side note, readers + author is requested to read Tuesdays with Morrie on the same topic.

  3. Very very difficult question, but more than that are there enough old age homes which will not try to just take your money and not provide care for you? I mean I am moving to old age home as I can’t take care of myself. Will I be able to protest if care providers do not do a good job?
    My experience with couple tells me a very different story – they charge a lot and still don’t provide adequate (or even tolerable) service.
    Is there a forum/group which gives guidance choosing old age home?

  4. Whether to pre-book a place just now OR wait till one is doddering.. what if the price is way too high then.

    What if one buys now and never gets to use it…

    Scary one for sure Subrabhai.

  5. Should assisted death be provided instead? I mean, at some point you will reach a situation where living life normally is such a big chore, that you would rather choose a quick graceful exit instead of prolonging a life which has, in a sense, completed its living.
    For such people, after a one on one discussion, they can choose their time of death and be administered whatever poison is appropriate for a quick & painless expiry.

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