Rarely do I do a feedback so soon after a post has appeared…but I thought I needed to clarify, hence this post:

Rajesh on March 19th, 2014 at 11:04 pm e
Well said Praveen..

“she was now a married slave paying an EMI” — totally ridiculous.

I know of many cases where husband sponsored higher education of wife.. If they even mention it, whole world will pounce on him..

Also, I know 99% of cases, guys end up buying bigger house with fancy communities, wooden flooring,duplex houses as per the wife’s wish and struggling with huge EMIs, sympathy anybody?
such a hypocrite world.

My response:
IT IS NOT A HYPOCRITE WORLD RAJESH, YOU are being the hypocrite. You say something and do something. The world is not here to judge YOU or your wife’s behavior. You choose, you reap. Either have the guts to tell your wife YOU will not do what she wants you to do, or you do it. Once you do it, DO NOT CRIB.

PrAvEeN on March 19th, 2014 at 12:22 pm e
“she was now a married slave paying an EMI” – These so called words sometimes make the girls feel more then actually what they are contributing. (Women Empowerment words in RaGa terms 🙂 )

For every one girl like this there are 1000′s of men who are working their ass off as more then slaves in shitty jobs for their family. But only girls get the sympathy 🙂

My response:

Millions of girls give up their careers, security, place of stay and move to a new EVERYTHING. They SURELY deserve more sympathy. Have not seen ANY man give up a career to look after HIS INLAWS (have one guy give up a career to look after his wife who was unwell). EMI response – separate post.

When a boy and a girl get married, the relationship starts on trust. Great, that is what it is supposed to be. However, there are some men who are out to exploit the situation, and there are some women too.

My take is simple. Till you do not trust each other FINANCIALLY and are not aware of each other’s financial and family reactions, keep your money separate.

The girl may want to give some money to her parents, siblings, etc. -if the guy interferes, it could be a problem. I am also against a GIRL PAYING the EMI of a house if HER NAME IS NOT THERE on that property. It is almost cheating.

The simple logic is efforts and money are to be shared. If the guy earns Rs. 15L and the girl earns Rs. 7.5L, maybe the expenses should be shared in the ratio of 2:1. Her efforts at cooking, cleaning, and housekeeping is anyway NOT BEING compensated.

Girls need to be careful, but boys too need to be vary. Do not be in a hurry to put your wife’s name in all your assets. Both of you need to think about all this before you MIX your finances. That is all.

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  1. oh no, all my savings and assets are in my wife name!!!!!!!!!! but its ok even if she takes it all (which i doubt) i will just make more..NO WORRIES

  2. The best option is to get a prenup before marriage, specifically with respect to finance. The fear of law will force you and your spouse (gender neutral) to stick to the agreements. I am not sure if there are any specific prenup laws in india. But, it MAY (again “MAY”) be enforceable under the contracts law.

  3. “I am also against a GIRL PAYING the EMI of a house if HER NAME IS NOT THERE on that property”

    Agree to this., In my hometown (a Tier 4 city) in-laws even want the dowry they had given to beonly in their daughter’s name (in a FD or as an asset). The boy’s family can’t think of touching/using it. So if a girl is paying EMI the house had to on her name.

  4. ” IT IS NOT A HYPOCRITE WORLD RAJESH, YOU are being the hypocrit ”

    Guess you are taking it personally.

    ” A Mumbai boy spent money lavishly at his honeymoon – much against her wishes ”

    is contradicting with

    “The world is not here to judge YOU or your wife’s behavior. You choose, you reap. Either have the guts to tell your wife YOU will not do what she wants you to do, or you do it. Once you do it, DO NOT CRIB. ”

    Now, two contradictory views on two posts!!

    The problem with your two posts are, you paint a picture that you believe the responsibility lies with the guys always..

    In your original post, all the points you mentioned are examples of guys squandering the money and asking the wife to pull off..
    My point is, there are two sides of the coin and all your 6 points are telling only one side of the story.

    it’s totally different story if you plan to target women readers for your posts.. 🙂

    BTW, if you are not happy with contradictory views/criticisms, you don’t deserve to be in the blog which is public…
    You could block me/delete this comment if you wish..

    All the best!!

  5. Subra Sir,
    Better to ignore such Topics for BLOG because after reading the comments you will boil from inside.

    And also one more thing Sometimes I feel You HATE BOYS is it so??:) 🙂

  6. Yes Subra sir this is the risk of being fair to women. It is a man’s world, so if you are fair to us, you are seen as a WOMEN hater. Having said that I guess men and women should communicate well – about lifestyle choices before they marry. I have seen guys unable to meet their wives’ insatiable demand for ‘branded’ luxuries, luxury travel, tours, bigger cars, …and what have you. However on the other side you also have men who taunt and expect to get tons of gifts from the inlaws!!

  7. Response to: “I am also against a GIRL PAYING the EMI of a house if HER NAME IS NOT THERE on that property. It is almost cheating.”

    A different scenario: Suppose the husband bought an apartment in his name before marriage (paying EMI) and after marriage, he makes his wife a joint owner but she pays the entire EMI. Now the ownership is 50-50. God forbid, they end up in a divorce, by Indian laws, the wife is entitled to half the husband’s immovable assets. So it gets split 25-75 even though the husband paid most of it before the marriage. So if this guy knew of this law, probably, he wasn’t cheating, he was just being smart in a way 😀

    In my family, my wife pays the rent, in full. I pay up everything else. She has access to my bank accounts, investments, cards, etc. My question is, in a family, does it really matter who pays what? After all, it’s the family’s money, whether it comes from the husband’s account or the wife’s account. 🙂

  8. I see the original post as what is happening(true) vs what author thinks! Accepting the truth is always difficult for some people. I am sure that Subra didn’t make up this story.

  9. The basic meaning of Family is washed away if everyone follows the way the author thinks…

    After all it’s family and not bussiness… It’s love between 2 hearts that make them stay togeather and not their bank balances…. (Bussiness partners would love this though)…

    Exceptions are everywhere, it doesn’t mean they are to be made as thumb rule – I hope my points will be considered and not deleted.

    I am sorry if my not so intelligent brain was not able to absorbb your content in a way it should.

    Sunil.

  10. @Sneha

    “””Yes Subra sir this is the risk of being fair to women. It is a man’s world, so if you are fair to us, you are seen as a WOMEN hater. “””

    so if you are fair to us (read women), you are seen as a WOMEN hater. ????? o.O o.O

  11. Well, typical fight or flight response. I am pleased not surprised!
    I bet author cannot explain the difference in his thought processes i have highlighted in my above comment.. 🙂

    Another observation is he has some pre-conceived notion on doctors(probably through his personal contacts) and trying to generalise on all doctors..

    Anyways, it’s HIS blog who am I to make observations.. 🙂

    I rest my case here, hey weekend is here!!!. I have better things to do, life is beautiful 🙂

    P.S:
    To all readers here, I made my initial observations at the risk of sounding male chauvinistic and sure enough, some observed me as such…
    to me, real women empowerment is when the need for words like “women empowerment”, “feminism” are no longer needed,(much like lead chararcters in Ayn Rand’s novels.)

  12. Rajesh – ‘if you are not happy…..you DO NOT DESERVE to be in the public’ – really? and you are to decide that? sounds like you deserve to be in AAP of khujliwal…also

    I liked your attitude of ‘it is none of my business…but’..if it is none of your business, hey you have no business reading or commenting, right?

    funny. Ayn Rand. Ha. Reading AY is one thing. Understanding is completely different. There is skill required for both I presume…

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