I know parents of young boys and girls are going to kill me for this headline, but let me run a morbidity risk…
When 2 young people get married they are starry eyed. Some of them even get married because of love! Well whether it is an arranged marriage or a ‘love’ marriage (which means arranged by the youngsters) I have no clue what they talk about in the period from ‘engagement’ to actual marriage. Given a chance I would want this to be on their agenda….
1. Most of the kids know how much each other make: Safe assumption is that the boy and the girl know how much each other earns. Gross, CTC, net, etc. HOWEVER they have no clue of how this is spent.
It is nice to know that your husband earns Rs. 68,000 per month as net, but NOT KNOWING that an unmarried sister takes away Rs. 12,000 per month, an unemployed father in law takes away Rs. 14,000 for himself….is TRAGIC. The net amount that is available to ‘you’ and your husband is NET of taxes. Taxes levied at home hurt more does it not?
I know one girl who was shocked to see her husband pay a BIG EMI on a personal loan taken by her BROTHER IN LAW – he had borrowed that to pay off a big business LOSS.
2. Spending habits: A Chennai boy was stunned at his wife’s ability to blow money in one shopping trip! His mother and sister would spend that much in a YEAR. So if the money habits are very different, there is bound to be a big shock later on.
3. A Mumbai boy spent money lavishly at his honeymoon – much against her wishes, and when the bill came for payment coolly asked the girl to pay the credit card dues. Simple.
4. ‘Own’ house or ‘rented’ house? One guy who had bought a house about 6 months before the wedding was paying ALMOST all his income as EMI. The marriage was convenient because her salary was ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY to run the household. The father in law was not earning but staying with them…which meant she was now a married slave paying an EMI for a house (indirectly) that belonged ONLY to her husband, and did not have her name on the ownership documents. She had no clue what to do. Neither did I know what to tell her.
5. One guy expected his wife to pay for her food expenses. Amusing thought you would think, right? Well she had to pay about Rs. 15,000 a month for ‘her share’ of the household expenses. She was NEVER told how much was the total expenses, but she had to pay. She had NO CLUE about what her husband did with his Rs. 74,000 per month take home salary. It was NEVER discussed.
6. One girl was surprised at her husband obediently paying the EMI, society charges, etc. and then handing over the balance cash to his FATHER. The father a retired school master then allocated money to each person according to their needs. THEY ASSUMED that the daughter in law would OBVIOUSLY do the same thing. She came from a rich family where her father NEVER touched her money. She was shocked. She was expected to do that. Marriage ended on a divorce..there is young daughter…
All these are examples for you to read, assimilate, and show it to your spouse.
If you are not yet married, be sure to speak about such situations that could arise in YOUR LIFE…and hope to start your life on a nice note 🙂
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