FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE THIS IS A HUMOR COLUMN AND A DIG ON THE RECENT REGULATIONS!

These are the forthcoming Financial Services Legislation:

1. Distributors of financial products cannot do advisory: Every person in the financial services business will choose whether to be a distributor or an adviser. The adviser will act like a doctor and charge a fee, the distributor will dispense the product like a chemist.

The adviser will have a net worth of Rs. 500 crores (this has been done in consultation with RBI) and since the distributor does not really stock any products, he can have a net worth of JUST Rs. 100 crores.

2. To be an adviser (in individual capacity) he will have to be a CA, or an MBA from a prime institute. Prime institutes will soon be notified.

3. Distributors will have to invest at least 1% of their Net worth in Open ended schemes subject to a minimum of Rs. 30 lakhs in schemes that they distribute.

4. Advisers must have a good reach – of say at least 100 branches and distributors should have at least 500 branches.

5. Online sales of mutual funds will be stopped IMMEDIATELY – they are violating the spirit of opening branches. See our top 2 PSU mutual funds brilliant branch expansion strategy.

6. All mutual fund houses should have at least 1000 branches in India of which at least 799 should be in NON URBAN areas.

7. TDS will be applicable on commissions, rebates, schemes, picnics, lunches, booze, etc. if it is provided by the AMC to the distributor.

8. When a meeting of the distributors is called all the 114 of them should be invited. We should also ask them why the fall in IFAs has been so drastic.

9. We are at a loss to understand why Srikanth joined Goldman Sachs as Director (Asia Pac) Distribution. Sad for Indian Financial Industry. BharatFunds is now a 100% subsidiary of GS. We should encourage Indians to be in the business of mutual fund distribution.

10. These laws will be applicable to all the 4 Asset Management Companies, 114 distributors and the 244.712 bank branches selling mutual funds. And of course all the 1,000,324 bank employees who are authorized to sell.

…more to follow….strictly confidential press release…

Related Articles:

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

  1. Subra sir

    What will happen to fundsindia and their customers?
    Am i going to regret in building all my hopes with this platform,as always india is so unpredictable and unreliable for a lorng term investor or savor where someone will find ways to cheat and loot?

    i am getting worried…..

  2. Online sales of mutual funds will be stopped IMMEDIATELY?????????/

    What about Fundsindia and Fundsupermart????

    Is this article a PRANK or SERIOUS??????

    Regards,
    Sunil.

  3. Sir,

    Please express your views if you smell new scam in fundsindia. I am small investor who have gained knowledge in this blog and was encouraged to be in equity thr MFs.

    I am worried now.

    Sushila

  4. For heaven’s sake guys which clause looked practical? All of you have reacted to point no. 5 – does anything look possible? I honestly had a higher opinion of my readers. Not sure if i was so wrong 🙂

  5. No matter how hard you try . . . one can never predict the next wrong one. Rather only introspect and try to minimise the impact.

    Or better still, get out of harm’s way & after having done so . . . just count our blessings.

  6. Sir I believe you added the first line later. Moreover you took names and trapped me which normally u never does… 🙂

  7. yes Shinu I agree…however i believe each line was IMPOSSIBLE to believe…and I am sure that anybody who is trying to build a traffic and a base will one day sell out…my view of course, not SM’s. I added that line when I felt that Shrikant’s call centre would get too many calls…

  8. Wat u mean by Advisory must be either CA or any MBA from prime institute.

    People like Manish Chauhan, Ashal Jauhri, Pattu.M , Narendra Kondaji, serve the people in a much better way than the above two category people.

    Grow ur thoughts subra. Take it as an WAKE UP CALL.

  9. Wat u mean by Advisory must be either CA or any MBA from prime institute.

    People like Manish Chauhan, Ashal Jauhri, Pattu.M , Narendra Kondaji, serve the people in a much better way than the above two category people.
    Grow ur thoughts subra. Take it as an WAKE UP CALL.

  10. Subra I know you have a no edit policy but still you should edit idiots like R u proudy – clearly not having the guts to write his name but too dumb to understand humor…how and why do u tolerate them? and he/she/it is warning u 🙂

    You should show him the finger – u know which one!! lol

  11. Sir,

    Kya sir bacche ke saath majak karte ho??? ek toh garib mushkil se kuch paise bachha pata hai woh bhi chori ho jaaye toh ganga naahyega kya aur nichodega kya??

    But sir, I luv the way u r…Keep going…Bless u.

    Sushila

  12. Oh no, by adding the disclaimer Subra spoilt the fun – humour is lost.

    But the scary part of it all is, no one is surprised at the “regulations” – nobody expects regulators to behave in a rational/logical manner.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>