Should girls still be brought up as ‘Pati Parameshwar’  and he can do no wrong?

The kind of abuse parents ENCOURAGE their daughters to accept is almost unbelievable. In this educated 2013, why do parents of engineers, MBAs, doctors….accept the fact that ‘men are men..so they can HIT their wives’….is this not appalling?

What gets people into the mind set ‘what will others say’ and such  kinda shit?

This post is just meant to bring ‘normal’ people’s attention to a social malaise like domestic abuse. I also hear on the other side that all the laws are here to protect women – and so some smart women are misusing the law to trap decent middle class men into agonising, painful and financially expensive relationships. That of course is just as bad as the men illtreating their wives, but domestic abuse is terrible.

What in the world makes women teach their children (daughters) that it is all right to be hit by their husbands? I mean in a society where women have held such high posts including that of the Prime Minister – and now an all controlling UPA chariman’s post..why do MIDDLE CLASS women feel powerless? Though this is a greater problem in North India, it is not as though it does not happen in other parts of the country….

What can society do to reduce this? Simple – recruit a disproportionately high number of women in the police force – I mean really huge number of women should be recruited in the police force, armed forces, etc. A lot of this recruitment should happen from the smaller villages of UP, Bihar, Rajasthan, Haryana and Punjab. Exactly the states which do not treat their women well.

Suddenly and overnight the position of the woman will not change, but the women will (perhaps) understand the fellow women and thus be more willing to walk into a police station and lodge a complaint. It might also push other women to get educated hoping to get a ‘sarkari naukri’. Women with jobs in the police force will not be subject to harrasment (let us hope!). Similarly their sisters, friends, etc. will also get some kinda protection…

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  1. Hi Subra,

    I vote for you if you stand for M.B.

    First women should teach their girls how to live with self respect. It will happen only if they are well educated. In my opinion, gov should make sure every girl child born in this country should go to college and the cost should be borne by gov if the parents can’t afford. At least educated women know their rights IMHO.

  2. A question out of the blue,

    what are your thoughts on arranged marriage ? from a guy’s perspective. You think you can do a post on that ?

    I know, like everything else, there is no ‘one’ particular idea on this. It depends on the personality of the girl and the guy involved, their preferences and priorities and a million other factors.

    But in general I have similar views as yours in most stuff (people call me cynical as well ;o)), so I was wondering if I could ask your thoughts on it.

    Say, a 29 year old guy from very very conservative Tamil family, not anti-marriage but shit scared to go through arranged marriage, who thinks marriage doesn’t have to happen before 30 (given the children will take care of you logic is no longer applicable).

    Would be curious to know your views..

  3. I don’t think simply taking more women into police will solve this problem. I am all for women empowerment but probably this is not the way. We have tried to do similar things in past like giving reservation in politics espcially gram panchayat – but the result is not more empowerment to women at all. Those seats now reserved for women are taken up by the most powerful man’s wife, mother, sister etc. Do you think these women themselves are empowered leave alone so called middle class women in these area?
    Case in point, do you think making Rabri Devi as CM or head of a party has/had made any women empowered including her?
    I don’t know the answer to this question but feel that more reservation (either explicit or implicit) is not the answer.
    On a lighter note, I feel that this problem exists in both genders. Do you think any man who gets beaten up or berated by his wife regularly comes out in open? Do you think their parents would encourage him to come out in open saying my wife beats me? I think it would be much harder for them to accept it and society also would not approve saying kaisa mard hai? Biwi se pit gaya… lol

  4. Seriously, more reservations is the solution – is that the best you could come up with?

    Women CM in West Bengal – lookup how safe it is there for women.

    Please stick to Finance or stories of your acquaintances.

  5. it would be nice if we got information on dowry/bride burning in the pre mughal era in india.or even until 1857 (till east india company).

    i have a feeling that these things took a turn for the worse because of monetary situation changing as well.the advent of fiat money has caused dowry to be more than just property transfer

  6. If In 1 in 10 homes a husband beats his wife, but in 6 in 10 homes a wife ruin her husband’s peacefulness by having rift with in-laws/sister/brother/relatives for silly issues.

    worst are cases where husbands waited for years for wife to change & not in a situation to beat her they opted to file divorce.

    Which law will save these husbands from this HARASSMENT????

  7. Hi PrAvEen,

    “If In 1 in 10 homes a husband beats his wife, but in 6 in 10 homes a wife ruin her husband’s peacefulness by having rift with in-laws/sister/brother/relatives for silly issues”

    You see, Wife is not having rift with husband, you admitted! May be she loves to live with her husband alone, and also their own kids! Can’t you see the point there? (pun indented, no offense Mr.PrAvEen)

  8. “May be she loves to live with her husband alone, and also their own kids”

    The lifecycle changes when those Kids get married 🙂

  9. According to recent survey taken by TOI Group. 46% of the rift in a married couple is caused by the women of the house ie.husband’s mother,sister etc.

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