Amazing response to Joint Family expenses which I wrote a few days back made me write another one….
The worst thing about Joint Family expenses is the perception of who is doing well and who is not. So if one son is doing his own business, one son is working with an Investment banking outfit, one has a wife who is working and earning well…..the parents have no clue about who is earning well. So the conclusions are drawn on the basis of their spending!
Assuming that if two people are spending X amount per month means both are earning (say 3X) per month is a stupid assumption. One son may be a spend thrift while the other may be saving every rupee and spending less! Families who do not communicate with each other about money end up not knowing the truth!
Financial communication – in this country is a joke. Even inside the house it might be easier to get a parent to talk about sex with the children, but you cannot catch them talk money! It is absolutely necessary to talk to each other about each person’s earnings, dreams, desires………..so that there is some equitable distribution of work and money burden.
Many a times children are expected to ‘help’ as per their capability, not as per the parents needs. So if a son is doing well he has to pick the bigger tabs – this causes a lot of resentment among the daughters in law and sometimes even among the cousins (the kids). Even parents who distribute their own wealth unequally among the kids run a risk of creating a fight between the kids….The kid who gets less feels …’Oh so you loved him more than me’ – leading to tensions.
The most important thing in any relationship is decent communication – say even the unpleasant things, it is necessary!
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