I know I have touched a raw topic…so here are 2 versions. Rather I will give you 2 views, you can take whatever you want!

Parents argument about this topic:

1. We looked after you, so you should look after us.

2. It is your duty. We looked after our parents, so you should look after us.

3. We made a lot of sacrifices, so you too should make those sacrifices to look after us…

and many more….

What happens if children argue the following:

1. I did not ask to be born. If you had a kid, it is because you guys had fun. If you wanted a kid, hey that’s not MY fault.

2. You looked after me for about 18-19 years, may I stop looking after you 20 years from hence?

3. Ok I assume it cost you about Rs. 200,000 p.a. – so here is Rs. 300,000, May I stop looking after you?


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  1. Interesting topic and have deep roots in the cultural fabric and society structure of most Asian countries.

    No matter what side we choose, one should always remember –
    “Families are not mere group of individuals but rather individuals who are connected deeply with emotions, relations and much more than meets the eye through out their lives”

    We can always find a solution as long as we have a WILL.

  2. Subra – this question should be put by the 1st generation parents to their kids in front of the 3rd generation (grand childs). Perhaps that’s the only way to make 2nd generation taking the right path while answering.. 🙂

  3. sometimes taking care each other (kids-parents, parents-kids) could be beneficial, even survival , as the inflation made the matter worst for many . i think so.

  4. I like the unique way very simple things are asked in this blog,personal experience is am really blessed with two married daughters and my both son-in-laws,always felt being looked after well.
    I guess it is all very mutual,and not necessary that one expect,or at times you just feel blessed….I follow Mr.P.V.Subramaniam very well versed with his sense of humor and most witty regular updates.Thanks to MONEYLIFE from where I got lot!!

  5. Subra, you know how to provoke a discussion.

    Both sides have strong arguments and complexities of the times make it difficult to defend either side.

    Drawing lessons from nature, there is no trade off over taking care or giving care.

    Procreation or breeding is just a biological process for survival of the fittest ones with no strings attached.

    But we have civilized the human specie and developed societies, where questions like ‘Should children look after parents?’ find no easy answers.

  6. On points 2 and 3 of what children could argue.

    It’s not about time or money spent on children while looking them. They (parents) looked after children till they could stand on their own feet (without counting years/money required).
    Now the cycle has changed and it’s children’s turn to support their parents in their 2nd innings of the life.

    Especially at point # 3, considering inflation and opportunity cost to parents, it would require life time for children to return the correct amount spent on them to their parents.

    Actually, it should be from within that we should feel that we should look after parents and not because they are demanding. This works the best.

    BTW, I am a parent as well as a child currently 🙂

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