Hi kids of the graduating batch of 2013!

There are certain things that I ‘forgot’ to tell you in 2011. It is also called ‘suppresso veri’ – well it is a legal language to mean ‘hiding of the truth’ but my job did not allow me to tell you the following.

The following is also the main reason why I do not get to teach / address students in MBA schools. Some people call me cynical. Some call me sceptical (some of you spell this skeptical I am told). Younger people of course call me senile, but people older than me, cannot call me senile, because …you know how it goes, right?

So for a list crazy generation, here is the list:

1. When we said the average salary in our campus was Rs. 800,000 – we took the top most salary of Rs. 14,50,000 and the bottom of the salary of Rs. 150,000. Mean, median, mode, geometric mean we did not bother to calculate. Standard deviation be damned.

2. We will teach you things that are completely irrelevant: we will teach you platitudes like ‘if it ain’t broken, do not fix it’ . However in the real world the best time to sell a business might be at the top of the cycle.

3. The world is not really waiting for you: We beg, plead, grovel in front of corporates so that they come here for placement interviews. We offer easy PhDs in HR – so that the middle level exec in HR is tempted to call us his alma mater – but you need not know that…or must you?

4. Do not over analyze and think your analysis is right! Unless you are working as Exec Asst. to a guy who likes presenting papers to high sounding scholars, you will do very little analysis. Real life is about action, not unending, silly ppt presentations to all and sundry. However if you cannot do a ppt, well you will not be hired. Oxymoron? well that is your boss – as stubborn as an Ox and a moron at that!

5. What you think is over promise is now the standard, sorry kids standards have changed…

6. Corporate India is not waiting to take you and put you through 2 years of training! You join Monday and attend target meetings on Wednesday. That was because Tuesday was a compulsory National Holiday. By Friday you have been screamed at once for not doing anything – unmindful that HR is yet to send your card for printing…

7. In corporate India the ‘Dhurva’ story will get reinforced day in and day out. The projects which the ‘Lala’ likes will get done. Others will not. Period. Read it again. Corporate world is run for egos not necessarily what is profitable, ethical, moral or right….If the project on which you are working is not priority, well it is not priority. So what?

8. If your boss (read the guy who is going to decide your promotion) does not like a project, ignore that project. Simple knowing who is the immediate king is a MUST in the jungle. So a deer has to respect not only the lion but also the cheetah. If you are in operations the branch manager is NOT your boss, it is the Operations Director. I hope you have no doubts…….

9. The fees that you pay us is not really justified, but we priced it to include the premium your father and mother will pay to satisfy their ego. Sorry, but so what?

 http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/news-by-industry/jobs/placements-at-iims-are-not-an-entitlement-determined-by-mood-in-corporate-india/articleshow/19501418.cms 

 

Related Articles:

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

  1. “The following is also the main reason why I do not get to teach / address students in MBA schools.”

    You complain about not being allowed to teach!! You should be thankful that you are not getting killed by them.
    Enjoyable post.. as always. Thanks Subra.

  2. Subra,

    So cynical, so real and so true!!!

    All others who do not think so – wake up and smell the coffee!

  3. Come on SAM tell me which one is NOT true. Sad that nobody writes about it that is all. Kids spend 15L -24L on an Mba hoping for a 14L placement. ISB, IIM are the pied pipers….kids follow. Parents who themselves did not get the degree vicariously live through the kids. 10 years later it may not look like a good decision after all 🙁

  4. Good Post Subra sir,

    another of those advertisement drive consumption story this one…

    MBA Degree makes sense only if the company is sponsoring it,for a new graduate the difference in salary due to getting MBA is far far lower than what people think, in fact in many case MBA makes you unemployable. Sad because all MBA will be doing basic leg work for most of their lives.

  5. Subra,

    Sad reality! and of course Indian media never does real reporting.

    Or rather I have heard these days journalists get paid NOT to report!

    Case in point, pony tail management institute and in the past -Satyam fiasco!

    About IIMs, most of 60Lpa placement figures are a hog wash!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>