When the Brits ruled India they created a huge mechanism of govt bodies to keep the people busy. If people had to fill up forms to buy a house, build a house, cut a tree, plant a tree, adopt a child, adopt a pet…..it means they got less time to think of how to get rid of the government and the gov could know what is happening at various levels.

In 1947 we should have abolished many of those laws, but we decided against it. The wisdom of Nehru perhaps?

However, in 2028 the Govt decided to create a Food Regulator, and the following regulations were put in place:

  • to set up a new hotel, you would have to have a net-worth of Rs. 50 crores
  • all eating places had to disclose what their staff ate, and how much
  • all eating places/hotels had to appoint a Ceo, cio, compliance officer, health officer, ….etc.
  • no agents should be appointed to talk about the hotel
  • all advertisements should carry a disclaimer
  • disclaimer “over-eating is injurious to health, please read menu card carefully”
  • the menu card should contain all details like calories, content, how long fried,..etc. in simple language
  • vegetarian should be marked in green and non veg in red. In case there is a doubt there should be a food-o-meter
  • anybody ordering food over Rs. 1000 should provide proof that it has been recommended by a dietician
  • the dietician cannot be on the pay roll of the hotel, but should be independent
  • the client should pay fees to the dietician and it cannot be bundled with the food bill
  • the client should sign an undertaking saying “I have chosen oil pakoras violating the suggestion of my dietician”
  • the menu card should contain the effort required to burn off the calories consumed – say ‘run 21km for the 1 plate samosas”.
  • a doctor should be available, but he should be paid for by the client and not by the eating place.
  • a person over 85 kg weight should get a doctor certificate for eating oily, and high calorie stuff. Height does not matter.
  • the weight, height, and health condition of the cook should be prominently displayed in the hotel
  • the eating place should not offer any discount to the dietician when he visits the hotel
  • the dietician should pass an exam every 3 years and registered with FART
  • Food Authority and Regulator Tyrant – I forgot to introduce the authority
  • we see some hotels engaging ad agencies to advertise for eating place – we do not like this
  • an eating place should be known by the quality of food, not by the advertisements
  • No more advertising, no appointing Master Food Distributors
  • All MFD arrangements should be terminated immediately
  • We find that Swiggy, Ola, etc. drive dangerously to deliver food on time – so all these are banned wef 22nd October.
  • All bills over Rs. 900 should have gst, cst, Fart tax, – and recovered in full before the client leaves the place
  • the eating place shall have a Board of Tyrants who will ensure that unfair trade practices are not done
  • the compliance officer will certify that no client died eating this food
  • for clients who come regularly and eat unhealthy foods, the CO should check his Life insurance plan
  • no eating place will have any underhand dealings with insurance, pharma or undertaking companies.

Any similarity to any existing regulator is your stupid imagination dude.

 

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